ERB: Spock Vs. Prince Strong Heart

EPIC RAP BATTLES OF HISTORY!




Mister Spock

Vs.

Prince Strong Heart


BEGIN!





[Music stops abruptly, Mister Spock sees Strong Heart in his dog form]


Spock (cocking an eyebrow):

[uninterested] Great... I'm rapping against a mutt?




[Music resumes, Strong Heart quickly shifts into human form]


Strong Heart:

Good God
Look what crawled out of the woodwork
An interstellar pimp to every Trekkie dork
I'm the prince of lovely locks
Enjoying whiskey on the rocks
I've rescheduled my date with the Lady
So I can rip through your Vulcan ass
Like the Wrath of Kahn
I'll pin Uhura in the sack
I'll tear Kirk limb from limb
I'll wipe my ass with the Enterprise
And do it again and again
Why don't you take a picture
Of me whooping your ass?
It'll last longer
But this battle won't
It'll be over soon
You big eared goon


Spock (trademark serious voice):

I'm the Commander and Captain of the Starship Enterprise
The one and only Mister Spock
Representing the Starfleet and the Vulcan Government
You may fight like Cujo
But you're a dickless Benji
I heard you've been trying to get into the Lady's panties
And failed miserably
Why don't you go back to the kennel where you came from
And stop waisting your time with me?
Face facts Strong Heart
Ravenwaves placed a curse on you
Because you're an immature little pussy
I'll be kicking ass in the final frontier
Have fun with your pixietails


Strong Heart:

I feel like I'm rapping against a Vulcan Ben Stein
That's not you talking that's the Klingon Blood Wine
I fight for Lady LovelyLocks and her friends all the time
I'll chew through your ass like rawhide bone
You got no chance against me
You're on your own


Spock:

[Speaking into communicator]
Jim, beam me and Kirk to the Land of Lovely Locks
So we can put this kid in his place
And send all the Pixietails and Comb Gnomes into Deep Space
We have to make sure this saccharine atrocity
is never seen by the next generation
[To Strong Heart]
Now get your flea-bitten canine ass
Off of my ship



WHO WON?!
WHO'S NEXT?!
YOU DECIDE!